since day 1 it's been a goal of mine to make a difference in these kids' lives, especially the ones who are failing. Its quite surprising how the students will respond if they just see that someone actually CARES about them! So many of these kids come from broken homes, or no homes at all. and so they not only slip through the cracks at school, but also in life. so i just want them know that i'm interested in their success, and that my job is to MOTIVATE THEM and make them better people! :)
well, while observing this particular 15 year old student, i can't help but think about what goes through her mind every day. i mean, what was it like for her to tell her parents? did she find out by herself? did she consider aborting it? what made her keep the baby? i mean in the world's eyes, these days that's (sadly) absolutely ludicrous to think about keeping a baby as a 15 year old! but there was something inside of her that decided to keep it...weird. but my mind often wanders when i'm watching the kids lift weights, or run miles around the track so this is what i think of as she sits under the tree watching the kids run by because she can't run.
well friday she was absent, and i made a big deal out of her being absent, commenting that she's probably ditching (like 60% of the student body tends to do on friday afternoons). So monday when i saw her i asked where she was and she gave me attitude telling me that she was at the doctor. well of course, this time i believed her, i mean, from what i've seen, she's a decent girl.
well today, one of her friends pulled me aside before class started, making known to everyone that she wanted to have a private conversation with me, telling me that the reason this particular girl was absent on friday was because she noticed bleeding and immediately went to the doctor and was told she lost the baby........
15 year old girl. miscarriage.
WHAT?!?!
how can this girl endure that?? and then come to school on monday?? she mentioned that her mom wants her to stay strong so shes making her go to school so she doesn't sit around and cry (even though it's obvious from the looks of her, and from her own admission) that she has been crying A LOT since friday.
anyway. this has weighed heavy on my heart today. and i know i can't do anything to fix it. of course i'm helpless which is fine, but still, my heart just breaks. and what's sad is that this is one of MANY. a student told me that the P.A.C.E. lab, which is a place where high school moms bring their kids during school so they can attend their classes, has about 15 babies in there. 15?? 15 high school girls are going to school AS MOMS!
heartbreaking.
one of many reasons why i'm DYING to get into the classroom. permanently. so if you read this, and can remember in your daily prayers, PLEASE pray for a job for me. Pray for a consistent full-time teaching job. and also pray for my student. she's 15 and has miscarried a child. and is now shoving her grief under a rug, in order to save face at school. :(
lastly, a childhood favorite toon comes to mind when i'm in situations like this:
**.....this little light of mine, i'm gonna let it shine. let it shine. let it shine. let it shine....**
You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven. Matt 5:14-16.
3 comments:
WOW beth!!! That's so awesome that God put you there...it's obvious that it's no accident. I can totally see God using you there, you will be so amazing at teaching in many different ways. That is very similar to what I have to deal with here at doulos. There is actually a 15 yr. old who thought she was pregnant (although no test to prove she really was), had heavy bleeding, went to the doctor yesterday to find there's no baby. She was so devastated. There's also a few girls who had abortions, which is such a touchy subject. It's so hard to know what to say to them. It is indeed heartbreaking. I will pray for you and that God will use you in great ways!!! :-)
you're right where He wants you.
show Christ to these kids.
i love you.
I am so proud of you, Bethany, of your faith and devotion and passion to be of service, of your compassion for your students and the challenges they face at such young ages. It seems to me God has prepared you well to be the very best kind of teacher. Any staff that includes you will be blessed. I pray for you and for your student. Love, Mary
Post a Comment